Friday, September 30, 2005

T to the G to the I to the F

Yes nyah! Thank God It's Friday is finally here! After a long work week I'm sure you all are looking forward to kicking back and doing something not related to your job/career. Myself, I plan to go home and do some laundry and clean up the place a bit and then it's off to Delaware to see Pebbles-san early tomorrow morning. All in all, it doesn't sound like it's shaping up to be too bad of a weekend and I'm definately going to try and have fun [the plan is to get all the work I need to get done today].

Anyhow, not too much to post this morning, except that I did have a little linkup-eatup-drinkup at the boss' house last night. Wifey throw down some serious salmon iya and my stomach is still singing praises to her remarkable culinary skills! Anyhow, y'all have a good weekend and stay safe!


Monday, September 26, 2005

Gimme Di Light!

I swear I’ve never smoked marijuana a day in my life nor have I ever abused any other drug for that matter…well, with the exception of a mild addiction to Vicks Nyquil a few years back. I have, however, had occasion to get high under the most extenuating circumstances! For example, just the other day I was teaching my students the intricacies of the while…do, do, and for loops in C++ when I was suddenly engulfed in a wave of euphoria and couldn’t help but giggle in-between sentences. My students, who are generally used to my eccentric behavior, didn’t think much of it and laughed along with me. It turns out that I was writing on a whiteboard and utilizing four different markers at the same time, since I like to be as visual as possible with my explanations. The fume from said markers caused me to get a tad bit high, hence the loopy behavior I was experiencing.

Another time I had the flu and decided to take some Nyquil and go to bed. Unfortunately, a friend called me up and invited me to go out drinking with him, right after I had taken the medication. When I refused his invitation on the basis of my illness, he brought the party to my doorstep, showing up with Chinese food and a bottle of red wine he’d brought back from his vacation in France. Of course, I couldn’t refuse the free French wine and decided to ignore the warning labels on the Nyquil box which clearly stated that one should not mix alcohol with the medicine. Aside from suffering violent headaches and amazing hallucinations, I didn’t wake up for nearly two days. On the plus side, my flu was completely dried up and I was about 6 pounds lighter!

How could I forget the time I decided to pick up smoking? I was at a point in life where everything just felt wrong (I forget what teenage crisis I was going through) and I decided that I needed to drown my sorrows with nicotine. So, I stopped at a little shop on Barbican Road and bought myself two cigarettes. Unfortunately, I didn’t have enough money for a lighter or a pack of matches, and the shopkeeper didn’t want to give me a light. Of course, at this time, the closest I’d ever come to smoking a cigarette was when I was about 8 or 9 and I stole a lit one from my mother (under the pretext that I would toss it in the toilet, since I wanted her to quit). I actually intended to smoke it myself just to see if I could make those cool circles and other objects like they did in the cartoons (damn you Bugs Bunny!). The end result was me, with lungs full of nicotine, passing out on the bathroom floor and awakening to find a cigarette burn in the bathroom rug and my mother standing over me with a stern expression on her face. Well, I decided that I’d ask someone for a light on the way home; however, the individuals on Widcombe Road in the late night hours aren’t necessarily the friendliest Jamaicans out there. So, I put my unlit cigarette in my mouth and chewed it as I walked home. Suddenly, I became very dizzy and sweaty. Apparently, I’d managed to chew too far down into the cigarette and was experiencing the full effect of raw nicotine on the nervous system. Forget about that one now, no smoking for me!

Now my first and last experience with weed came about when I went to Community College and used to hang out with a Rastafarian fellow by the name of Rock. Now Rock was what one would call a true “Herbalist” and you could smell the weed on him even if he wasn’t smoking. Unfortunately, his weed smell began to rub off on me and my family thought I had become an addict…the fact that I was studying so hard at the libraries until my eyes got red and the bedraggled manner (i.e. grunge) in which I carried myself didn’t help matters much either. One day, Rock and I decided to study together for a programming exam…I believe it was COBOL programming. Now for those of you who know programming languages, you know that COBOL is one of the worst languages to learn…period. Well, Rock was a bit frustrated with the notes and decided to burn a little herb to make things seem clearer. Well, he didn’t ask me if it bothered me, he just lit it up and continued studying. I, on the other hand, sat around enjoying the second-hand fumes and feeling really irie. Finally, exam time came, and I walked, or rather glided, into the examination room on a cloud of 1’s and 0’s. The exam was handed out and I was feeling really mellow by that time. I just wrote and wrote and wrote for the entire three-hour examination period and, at the end of it all, I had no clue about a damn thing I had written. A couple weeks passed, exam results came back, and guess who got the highest score? Me, of course! Not only was the score the highest for the class, it was the highest the teacher had ever seen for any COBOL course she’d ever taught! Hmmm, I wonder if this is why us Jamaicans oftentimes refer to weed as “High Grade”?

Sunday, September 25, 2005

How Angry Dog Get Him Name

Good day to all you wonderful readers out in blogland! I hope you all had a wonderful weekend filled with rest and relaxation. Now, I haven't had a chance to read many blogs this weekend, but I've been slowly catching up. I did notice however that dear friend Campfyah call out a brotha's name on one of her more recent blog entries regarding the unusual names of fellow bloggers. Well, to shed some light on the situation, how I come about the name is quite simple:

One day, several years ago, I got into a heated discussion with a friend of mine about some stupid topic that I barely even remember. Well, friend-of-mine is a very well-read and extremely verbose individual and he was whipping my ass with his words and as time went by I began to feel dumber and dumber. After a while, I was excessively pissed off and at a complete loss for words, so I did the first thing that came to mind--I began growling and barking like a dog until he shouted "Alright Angry Dawg, mek we done the argument before you bite off mi head!" From that day on, I developed this little thing that when I'm happy or upset, or just plain bored I bark! DMX makes a living barking on stage, so why shouldn't I do so as well? It pisses Pebbles off to have her boyfriend bark, but hey, it's my thing!!

Anyhow, there you have my "life story", hopefully with some convincing Campfyah will reveal her "shady" past as well!

What did you do this weekend? Well, I pretty much didn't get one damn thing done! As it turns out, my friends were moving and were shorthanded, so I got the last minute call to arms! Now, aside from being in pain, I have a bunch of work to catch up on...which means I'm leaving work late tomorrow *sigh*. Oh well, sometimes we all have to help out our friends, nuh true? Oh, get this, the new house that my friends are moving into happens to be my first student house in Little Big City! Many memories in that place, most of them bad, so it was really a weird moment going back into that place again. Oh well, good or bad, memories are all we have and, in a way, going back to that place sort of made me feel as if my life had come back around full circle. Those were the days!

Have a great week you all!

Friday, September 23, 2005


Yizow people,

Wat da dizzle? I am tired out rass today, can't even type straight iya! Why am I tired? Well, I had a Thursday night link up drink up wid my boss and his wife and my colleague and his wife. Nuff nuff food....nuff Horse Douvers (H'ors D'ouvers for you edjumicated folks) and an ital (good and healthy) lobster stew prepared by my boss' wife...di girl can cook iya! So nuff nuff merriments and I never reach home till nearly midnight...saw two deer, one dead and one alive, on the way home--Doan even ask how I manage to navigate dat raatid country road wid di juice weh I was unda.

(Side note: Now you probably wondering why I'm writing in patois...well, it's a theory of mine, but since I learned to speak patois before I learned the good and proper Queen's English, whenever I get really tired, I lapse back into the patois real please bear wid me today!)

Anyhow, I get home and start to type up some code for my students for the next day and such delights, when the cellie ring and, lo and behold, it was mi bredrin/sparring partner/confidante, let's call him Izzy, on the other end. He was telling me bout this crazy raatid week he been having, so I ended up going over to his yard and chillin' some more...eventually we ended up listening to Jr. Gong new CD (his style really grows on you fast and even the songs you thought weren't so good are really good sounding now) and setting up his PC. Rass, neva reach home till close to 2:00am. Did I sleep? Hell no! All I did was work on the compi for a little while longer and hit the bed at a good 3:30am--only to be awoken at 7:00am by the alarm on the frigging Nokia! [loud and obnoxious!]. No dog last night, but thanks for unnu suggestions [btw, I definately like Aaron D's suggestion a lot and Sunshine you have some evilous thoughts u know!

Anyhow, enjoy the weekend...have a likkle fun and nuff drink up (for those who drink). Stay safe and big 'ood.

Respek, Anklespek, Toespek

Thursday, September 22, 2005

F'ing Dawg

Here's a little trivia for you all:

What do you do when the neighbor's dog keeps you up all night with it's incessant barking and running around?

Do you:
a) Do your best to ignore it and take some sleeping pills?
b) Wait until the neighbour is out, break into their apartment and kill the f'ing dog?
c) Complain to management, even though said neighbor does have a lease?
d) Tell the neighbor some good, down-home Jamaican bad words?
e) Call the ASPCA (American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals)?
f) Call the cops and tell them that your neighbor sells drugs out of her apartment?

F'ing little minature dog keeping a brotha up all damn night!!! AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Crazy people, bwoy I tell you...

Somehow I knew this weekend was going to be interesting...I don't know whether it had to do with the fact that I was watching XXX: State of the Union last Thursday night and there was a scene with a digital clock showing 11:58am just as my VCR clock was showing the same exact time! Or maybe it had to do with the fact that I almost hit a quail on my way to work Friday, no I'm not kidding, I almost hit a frigging quail!

Anyhow, driving up to see Pebbles on Friday evening, I'm travelling at a good 80-85mph when all of a sudden, another Honda flies down in the left lane and cuts me off! This car had to be doing about 90-100mph easily! Not a big deal really...EXCEPT there was a guy lying on the roof of said vehicle. Apparently, he had climed through the moonroof and just decided to lay out on top of the car. His friend is driving like a mad man, braking and speeding up, and he's just holding on to the roof by his arms, no ropes, no cables, nothing. I said to myself, "bwoy if that youngster had fallen off the car, I would have no choice but to run him over!" Somehow I don't think I'd feel to bad about it still. The world is made up of all sorts I suppose, but when you want to go eXtreme, try not to go eXtreme stupidity!

Anyhow, the weekend was pretty uneventful otherwise, had a great time with Pebbles, who incidentally celebrated her birthday yesterday. Anyhow, I going to go educate a few young minds and make some cheddar in the process!


Friday, September 16, 2005

PJ The Actor

Alright, I never like that documentary one bit last night. What documentary am I talking about? One that came on on the Travel Channel named Jamaica: The Ultimate Tour. Pretty much our Prime Minister made his television debut and showed just how bad an actor he is in the process! "No, no Peter, we don't say 'Yeah Maan', we say 'Yeah MON'". Fi real! So of course, there is this guy and PJ touring around Jamaica, shaking hands with everyone they meet, PJ sounding like one of those uneducated folks trying to speak properly to impress the tourists, yet ending up coming off even worse....come on PJ, I know you are a much more fluid speaker than that!

Anyhow, it's Friday and I'm happy to be able to once again say TGIF! I'm off to see Pebbles this weekend, so as soon as I teach my last class, it's off to Delaware I go! Anyhow, y'all have a safe weekend and remember to fill up the comment box you hear!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

N*ggas and B*tches, Gin and Juice

Well, I did go out and by Damian's new CD after all. It was a pretty good CD, not the best CD I've ever heard by any standards, but definately worth the $9.99 I paid for it at BestBuy. In fact, I'd say it was on the same level as Half-Way-Tree, not much better, not much worse...though the collaboration song Beautiful with him and di crackhead (aka Mr. Whitney Houston aka Bobby Brown) was pretty tight still and the one he did with Eek-a-mouse and Bounty Killer, Khaki Suit was also pretty good. All in all, as I said, the album is worth the $9.99 I paid for it, not less, not more.

Anyhow, last night I was sitting around at home working on the compi, listening to Damian CD, when a thought suddenly cross my mind: "Why is it that Jamaican men (at least in my generation) don't call women bitches (unless they piss us off) and we most certainly don't walk around calling each other n*ggas. Our women certainly would have a lot to say if we were to even think about calling them a bitch or a ho! However, the younger generation (Lord, it's hard to believe that I am not the younger generation anymore!) really don't seem to have too much difficulties identifying with these terms. When I was growing up, I remember going out at age 17-18 and nobody used to ask for ID cards to buy drinks, yet you hardly saw that many drunk people stumbling around, hammered out of their minds. Now you hear more frequently about kids getting killed because of drunk driving. Lawks, bring back the simpler times yow!

Back in the day it used to be Bredrin and Sistren, Red Stripe and Food now it's Niggas and Bitches, Gin and Juice. No man, it just ain't right! Sure, you must drink a juice and feel irie every now and then, but don't do it to the point that you can't see straight, let alone drive straight...yet you still drive you cyar and go crash wid somebody and clean him or her clock! It just ain't right, iya! And you rass bredrin (or niggas) come to you funeral looking all sad and teary-eyed, why the rass dem neva tek you keys if dem was you peeps? [sorry, I not trying to preach, but I vex iya].

As for calling each other niggas and bitches, pimps and hos....stop it! Why the rass would you want to identify with a word that has such a nasty connotation (yes, there is a difference between the words n*gger and nigga) but if you call yourselves that, what other people outside your race going to think?

Imagine, I get into a fight with a Korean youth a couple years back, just because he come to me and say "Chill nigga!" "Who di rass you calling nigga?" *slap* "Yo Nigga, be cool, be cool Nigga!" *thump, kick* "C'mon nigga, don't hit me again nigga, please nigga!" Is only after I beat this bwoy down proper I realize that he had a lot of black friends and, though he never used the term with them, he figured that he could be down with me and say shit like dat. Since that day, nobody, not black, white, indian, chinese, african, european, japanese must call me nigga! Just because you use a word enough don't make the connotation of it any less...learn dat!

As for pimp? Why di rass do I want to be associated with a man that sell pum-pum for a living? I would much rather to be called an ol' gyalist!! As for bitches? I ain't gonna call my good good, pretty, nice-smelling woman a "bitch"...i.e. a female dog? I sleep wid women not dogs! And I not even going to touch "ho"...ho is something that you either use to dig up your backyard or a woman who gets paid for sexual favors--I certainly don't sleep with/date a garden tool nor do I pay for services rendered! So the hell wid dat.

No more nigga, no more pimp, no more bitch, no more ho! Breddrin, Sistren, Lion, Empress...conscious vibes we dealing wid for 2005.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Welcome to Jamrock!

Yes iya, today is the day that Junior Gong's new CD supposed to drop! I man well excited about that still, especially since his Half-Way-Tree CD is in heavy rotation in the Honda. Now nuff of you don't gi di Gong credit and argue that is only because Bob Marley is his daddy why he get any airplay.

Well, you are entitled to your opinions still, and though I contend that he isn't the greatest reggae artist to step out of Jamrock (he definately didn't deserve the Grammy...should've been Beres' that took it home that year), but the yute does have some conscious lyrics some of the times. Anyhow, I will give the CD a prips and tell unnu if it worth buying after all. Incidentally, has anyone listened to the Hustle & Flow soundtrack yet?

I probably going pick it up to, just because the music in my car getting really stale (one of the dilemmas of having a CD changer). Anyhow, I really don't have too much to post today, so I gone get mi copy of the CD and I will definately provide feedback.

Oh, by the way, I planning to start a new blog in a week or two dedicated to everything from programming to system maintenance to technology...I figure it's about time I get back to being a geek [don't worry, my kennel will still be here!]

Friday, September 02, 2005


Two days ago I filled up my car at the local Exxon station. It was in the morning and the price was about $2.85/Gallon and I was crying. By the evening when I was driving home, the rass gas gone up to $3.80/Gallon at the same station! Bwoy, times rough for true when you have to be deciding whether you would prefer to take your girl out for dinner or buy a tank of petrol! It pretty much costs me the same and I drive a Honda...imagine the poor folks dem who drive dem big ol' SUVs and such--sorry for my neighbour with the new-brand Hummer H2 sitting in his garage!

This morning a student of mine suggested a piss-powered engine and believe me, I'm seriously contemplating an engine swap right now! You ever have it so bad with gas where you don't even want run your A/C when the weather is 80 degrees? Or you're more than willing to drive 25mph in a 60mph zone? But when you're at a point (like me) when you're even afraid to turn on your radio or headlights lest they too begin to suck the precious gas out of your vehicle, then you know the $#!+ has definately hit the fan. Yes, the little ugly Honda and Toyota hybrid cars have definately won out this day!

To top it off, Katrina has laid to waste much of the US' oil refineries, hence there is a bum rush on the gas stations and several places have closed down, not knowing exactly when they'd see gas again. Is a serious rass time fi true!

Anyhow, I not going to rant and rave bout gas no more, is Friday, and though things rough, food still in the fridge, Pebbles flying in for the labor day weekend, and I am healthy. So, give thanks and we will link soon!