Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Dope Sick Love

No, it's not how I feel about me and Pebbles' relationship at this point in's actually the title of a new documentary in circulation on HBO. It's a gritty, down to earth view of two crack/heroine addicted couples living on the streets of New York. Click here if you want to visit the directors' website and learn about the film. Man, all I can say is that the movie really got me thinking about the human condition...what is it about the nature of man that inspires us to become addicted to any and everything? sex, food, drugs, you name it.

The thing that disturbed me most about this film is the fact that the two couples interviewed knew that they were addicts and even knew that they would spend any money they got on drugs, yet they seemed resigned to the fact that they would keep doing it over and over again, regardless of the consequences. 'Tis indeed a screwed up affair!

The movie made me realize how much of a hold these drugs have on peoples' lives, from the mere fact that one of the addicts lost a tiny packet of dope, not even as big as one of those little bags of salt you get in restaurants, and it was as if his entire world had come to a screeching halt! He later found it, after retracing all his steps, rummaging through garbage bags, and finally finding it in a pool of grime.

I used to hear of people doing incredible, almost unbelievable, things for crack...sure, I laugh when I see Dave Chappelle making fun of crackheads as his Tyrone Biggums character. But when you see a dude really sucking d**k for crack, then you realize the graveness of the situation! I was shocked at the ingenious methods people would use to get money to buy drugs. Who would think to rummage around in the garbage for old recipts from some store, walk into the store, find the item(s) on the recipts (in said store), place them in one of the store's bags, then take it to the returns area and get the money back! I surely wouldn't think about doing something like that (in my sane mind), would you?

Anyhow, give the movie a watch if you can. I only hope to God that whenever I have kids I can raise them right and steer them away from drugs. It is a dangerous world out there!

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Last Story: Justice

Well, I've finally finished writing the book! Now I have to go back and edit, then try to get it published, wish me luck! Anyhow, I just though I'd like to share the last story I wrote with you called Justice Have a great day all!


It is a time of great sorrow in the land of wood, water, and sunshine. Evil has corrupted her once pure heart and she reeks of the blood of the innocents which has been meaninglessly shed upon her soil. No more. I see a new age on the horizon. I see a time where peace and tranquility will once more reign upon the land and all her children will raise their voices in sweet harmony to the Father above.

It is this vision that imbues me with the steel in my gut to do these dark things which I must do, for it has been written that evil can only be defeated by greater evil and wrong can only be righted by a greater wrong. Two negatives make a positive. And so I do these things which most men fear to do, simply because they must be done. I have resigned myself to the fact that my soul has been bought and paid for by the one who shall not be named, but I accept this, for I have been ordained to fight injustice with injustice, evil with evil, and thus avenge the innocent ones who have fallen. I am their bulwark, their protector, their tortured voice crying out for justice.

In times past, I have been called black heart man, duppy, soucoyant. I have been called many names, yet I have no name. I know neither of my past nor how or why I came into being; I simply know that I exist. I exist for the sole purpose of carving out the evil buried deep inside of man with the sharp knife of justice. Those who inflict fear and suffering upon their fellow man will have it reciprocated to them a thousand fold. Murder for murder, blood for blood, a life for a life, this is my way. I see evil, I smell evil, I taste evil, for I am evil and I will never rest until my scent is banished from the land. I have much work left to do…

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Hot Chick For The Angry Dog

Alright, so I was sitting around reading my comments from yesterday's post (Scratchie did you try the cold water razor thing yet bredda? If so how it work for you?) when lo and behold, I read the last comment from JDid about Queer Eye For The Angry Dog as a potential reality show idea! Bwoy, I have to tell you though you know, the title is rather catchy still; however, I have an even better title stil JDid--Hot Chicks For The Angry Dog what unnu think 'bout dat?

Yes man, this show has potential...each week I would go on dates with hot celebrities (Pebbles would be my first of course, then Halle would be my second, Kim Coles would be the next, followed by Angelina Jolie, and so on). Pebbles, please don't hurt me when you read this post, you hear sweetie...I just going on all these dates to educate my fellow man and to make my own contribution to reality television! So, the premise of this show is that each week, I go out with a different lady and during the show I will impart my vast knowledge of how to make women feel special by doing and saying the right things (sort of like Hitch with Will Smith).

Of course, for all you fellows out there in blogland, I'm not leaving you out still....on ocassion, I'll have some of you appear on the show doing your thing and then me correcting you and showing you how to do things the right way [laugh, it's funny]. Ladies, I not leaving you out still...because we would have to have you nominate the fellows and then act as critics, carefully evaluating their performance after my extensive, patented "Dogstatification Treatment". Yes man, this show definately have potential iya! Lemme go call Bravo and pitch the idea...

Sigh, if dreams were horses, then beggars would ride! Have a good day y'all!

Monday, March 14, 2005

Monday Already?

Geesh, the weekend is done already! Cho man, that not right...oh yeah, that's right, 5 more days then its Spring Break!! 11 days of peace and relaxation! So, I think this week should just blow by real fast. Well, I'm on my lonesome this morning since Pebbles left go to a job interview! (no, she hasn't grown weary of me as yet!). Dropped her off at the airport yesterday and now she's somewhere in Pennsylvania chilling and waiting to teach her demo class! Wish her luck for me y'all!

Don't have much to report today still, the weekend was a total bust, didn't do as much as I'd hoped to. Oh well, I shouldn't complain, at least I did stuff. Have a faculty/staff meeting tonight....which means 60+ minutes of utter boredom...good weather permitting, I should make it back home sometime this evening...oh well, at least it gives me a chance to work on a revised curriculum for the CS program and look for a few sources of grant monies [yaay, academia!]

On a lighter note, I was watching Queer Eye For The Straight Girl the other night (don't ask me no questions man, cho!) and I got a shaving tip from the lesbian co-host. Wet the blade with cold water between shaves and it'll help to prevent hair from sticking and allow the blade to maintain its sharpness. Of course, when she was giving the tip, it was meant to be for female leg shaving. Anyhow, I tried it out this morning, and it work to R.A.S.S. I get a better, cleaner shave and the razor didn't jam up with as much hair. Hmmm, it'll be interesting when I tell Pebbles that a lesbian taught me how to shave, ent?

On a special note to all y'all who replied to my comment re: the new Lexus hybrid SUV, unnu is a wicked set! Bout unnu wouldn't buy it though if it was a gift unnu would accept it....well, when I become the wealthy software mogul that I was intended to be, I'll remember you all and be sure to hand out Lexuses like Nino Brown (watch New Jack City if you not familiar with the reference) handing out turkeys for Christmas. CoolDestiny I wish the public transportation system where I am in the US was as developed as the one in Jamaica. For us here too, it's a definate drive or die situation as fact, there isn't even a bus line that runs the route that I take to work!

Friday, March 11, 2005

I'm Back

After spending the past few days down in the dumps, feeling sorry for myself, I've finally decided to surface once more and take up my rightful place in the Caribbean blogsphere (Lion King soundtrack plays as Dr. D stands next to me and says "Everything the net touches is our kingdom"). On that anology, I have to say that I've definately been away for too long!

Anyhow, the major thing on my mind these days is the R.A.S.S. gas price increases that we've been experiencing of late! Spent $2.09 / gallon at the pump this morning and is only the low-grade (87) gas I buy! Worst yet is that we're expecting to have gas prices way over $2.20 / gallon in the summer months...which puts a serious damper on my travel plans! Let's see, do I want to sleep in a hotel tonight or buy a tank of gas? Do I want to eat a decent meal today or buy a tank of gas? On the plus-sized, SUVs are becoming much cheaper nowadays, so if you're in the market for something big now is the time (just as long as you don't mind shelling out >$100 bucks every time u need to fill the tank!).

Hey, y'all like my new wheels? [not!] It's actually the new 2006 Lexus RX 400h, one of the few hybrid SUVs on the market! Pretty sweet, ent? They say that it handles really well for a hybrid still and has a lot of power. Of course, since its part gas part electric, the mileage per gallon is extraordinary! Hmmm, speaking of which, if time permits, I must really go up to the Honda dealership near me and see if I can test drive one of the new hybrid Civics they have! After all, with >640 miles per week getting added to my odometer, it's not so easy to fill up you know!

Have a great weekend all!

Sunday, March 06, 2005

The Edge of Depression

Depression sucks. It leaves you moping around for days feeling horrible inside. I'm depressed these days. Why am I depressed? Lots of reasons, but chief among them is the unquellable desire to be amongst my own kind (Jamaicans and other people of Anglo-Caribbean ancestry that is). Though I suppose that I could live if I only had a group of friends to hang out with. Why don't I have many friends here? Too long and complicated to explain--but it has a lot to do with the fact that I live in a college town and people are always coming and going, thereby making it quite difficult to form lasting friendships. Add to this the age factor, i.e. at age 28 I really have very little in common with kids in their late teens-early twentys and you'll understand the complexity of my social life! Welcome to Little Big City, home of many, many, many international students, but almost none from the Caribbean.

I spend my life moving in and out between work and home. At work, I spend my time sitting in my office alone, contemplating things that are way beyond my years and level of academic expertise. Of course, the occassional student breaks the monotony of my life, but these events are few and far apart. I have no academic stimulation, since my interests are totally different from those of the other CS professor in the department; hence, I cannot relate to anyone on that level. Lawks, I wish I could say things like "Hey Professor # 2, what do you think about the idea of fast random searches over non-deterministic models?" and Professor # 2 would say something like, "'s a somewhat novel idea, but I think you need to confine the boundaries of what you mean by randomized and how far you're willing to go before you hit entropy." Then we'd laugh and say "Hey, let's write a paper together!"

Sadly, this isn't the reality of my academic life right now. The real deal goes something like this: "Hey Professor # 2, what do you think about the idea of fast random searches over non-deterministic models?" "Ummm, I dunno Angry, lemme just stand over in this corner and NOT try to understand what the f*ck you just said a while ago." Anyhow, going home is not bad, don't get me wrong....Pebbles is there! But Pebbles is only going to be "there" for a few more months until she graduates and finds a job somewhere far, far away come August. Then I'll certainly be left all alone. What to do? I dunno. The thought of giving all this fighting up and going back to Jamaica has crossed my mind...though I'd like to have a PhD and a great deal more money and prestige in academia before I make such a bold and daring move!

Sigh, it's funny you know, I've spent the bulk of my life seeing myself as a loner...but my friends have always been there, at least on the periphery. Now that I'm truly alone, I feel so helpless, so lonely, so depressed. God help me to keep my sanity...

Friday, March 04, 2005

TGIF and Happy Birthday Sunshine!!!

Yep, thank God it's Friday to rahtid! I am quite glad that the week has come to an end, just one more class to go and I'll be on my way home! It's still a bit lot snowy outside and I'm not looking forward to the drive home, but we have to do what we have to do, ent? Happy Birthday to Lady Sunshine here's wishes for a million more birthdays. As is my tradition when bloggers are celebrating their birthdays, I give them gifts, especially lovely lady bloggers, so here's my gift to Sunshine:

A basket of yellow roses, since yellow symbolizes friendship (and I don't want her significant other beat me up for giving her red roses!)

A picture of LL Cool J

A nice virtual Birthday Cake (the bakers over at Photoshop Bakery were too busy to put your name on the cake...hope u like choclate!).

Of course, one cannot forget that you're the sunshine of our little blogsphere!

Happy Birthday Sunshine!!

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Tuesday Night TV

I didn't make it home last night. The meteorologists were calling for three to six inches plus of snow and I wasn't willing to risk life and limb to get home or, worse yet, be unable to make it out to work today. Fortunately, the provost makes provisions for things like these and, after a brief telephone call, I had a free room booked at the college's alumni center, a mere two-minute drive away from my office.

After spending a few hours working on a tutorial for one of my classes, I went to the local student hang-out spot to eat a light dinner. Got in to my room and spent a little while talking to Pebbles on the cellphone (God bless Sprint's free night and weekend plan!). After a while, we mutually decided to end the conversation and watch television. She was tired, I could tell in her voice. The poor thing, she'd been up for most of Sunday and yesterday working on her dissertation. A messy task indeed, lots and lots of horrible facts and figures that must be carefully processed by the astute statistical package known as SPSS to yield earth-shattering results such as "your students aren't dumb, they're just a lazy lot!". Oh well, such is the life of a young academic.

Spent a little while watching Fear Factor, the Reality TV Star edition, where they had a few celebrities from various reality-based programmes, such as The Apprentice, American Idol, and Survivor. A fickle lot they were and it helped to re-iterate in my mind how bad, or to borrow a phrase from Simon, "bloody awful", American television has become! After spending the better portion of an hour watching these "newbie" celebrities do things like get bitten by snakes while trying to unscrew a pair of bolts inside of a glass cage, dip their heads into a nice slimy pile of worms, then pick up said pile of worms with their mouths and unload them into a blender filled with water, for the purpose of making a smoothie out of poor creatures (mmm, yummmy, worm protein health drink!) I was forced to ask myself the amazingly profound question: "Why the f*ck am I watching this?"

So, I flip a few channels, and end up on VH1...just in time to glean the fact that Jessica Simpson is ditzier than Paris Hilton, Ellen DeGeneres is gayer than Rosie O'Donnell, Lindsay Lohan is more (contemporary) Britney Spears-er than Hillary Duff, and Angelina Jolie is weirder than Colin Farrell. Ok, so I once more question my motive: "Why the "f*ck am I watching this?"

And so it went on all throughout the night...the last thing I remember before falling into a heat-induced coma is watching segments of some "relatively" recent Van Damme movie called In Hell and musing at the fact that Jean-Claude is definately beginning to look weird...wasn't he a sex symbol once?