To PhD or not to PhD...'tis the question

A bright and glorious Thursday morning to my faithful readers and fellow bloggers. From the title of my post, those of you that know me well probably realize that my mind has been drifting once again; too much involuntary neuron activity isn't healthy you know! Anyhow, I had a meeting a few days ago with my old advisor. Much talk about potential grants that may be mutually beneficial to both of us. The research area that he and I both share a common interest in is all but dead. How can you convince a world of Information Technologists that the portability of software is truly a necessary area of study [speaking of which, I just had a great idea for a potential research project, lemme write it down and get back to the blog].

OK, I'm back. I think I might have just answered the above question...let's see what my research advisor thinks. Anyhow, we were talking about When I was going to do my PhD. Of course, my thought was like, "huh? me do a PhD?" Anyhow, flash-forward to this morning, me driving to work and thinking about my doctorate. Arrrgh! Now I want to do it, but time and fear seem to be my two biggest enemies. With respect to time, I teach 5 days a week and most of the classes that I have to take are held during the time that I'm expected to be at work. In addition to that, I work an hour away from the university where I would be pursuing my PhD (i.e. my alma mater), so skipping out for an hour is a little bit out of the question. The good thing is that the school I work at is actually willing to pay for my doctorate, but I have to go to my alma mater. Oh what a tangled web we weave!

The question is do I quit my job, go back to school, and spend another 2-3 years trying for a PhD that I may not actually get. Oh yeah, this is where the fear part comes in. See, I have a bunch of qualifier exams to take which are based on things that I haven't seen since I was a freshman (or ever before, for that matter!). I have three attempts in which to pass the qualifiers, or else I'm kicked out of the program. Now, if I do get over the qualifiers hurdle (shudder), I will have to take 6 courses at the PhD level (discussed above) and then take a set of comprehensive examinations based on those courses. Once I get over that fence, I have to come up with a dissertation proposal and present it to my committee. If it gets approved, I'll then move into the research phase (which is not a problem for me), followed by the dissertation writeup, and finally the defense of the work in an open forum of my peers. The last stages are fine, its just the stress of the coursework that has me pulling my hairs out.

Aside from those obstacles I described, I do not necessarily desire to impoverish myself any longer than I have to. Additionally, the ability to pay bills without worrying where the money is coming from is a freedom that I truly cherish each and every day since I started working! So, here I am, suffering for my passion, yet not wanting to give up the creature comforts and pseudo-stability that I now feel in my current position. Oh well, who knows what the future will bring, and how my mind will rationalize things in the next couple months, so we'll have to see what we'll see...

{arf,arf}