Angry's Top 10 Hot Mamacita List 2004

Well Ladies and Gentlemen it's that time of the year when AngryDog announces his top 10 candidates for the title of Hottest Mamacita. Due to the recent wave of beautiful women that seems to have propogated throughout the International Community, the competition this year has become even more intense and the judge[s] have had quite a task of deliberating over the final candidates.

At any rate, the candidates for Hottest Mamacita are:

1. Halle Berry. A very versatile female actress who has endured a great deal of personal trauma [Dr. D, I do agree with you, she sweet nuh r*s] but still remains beautiful. She has won an academy award for her role of Leticia Musgrove in Monster's Ball [though we won't hold those twisted sex scenes with Billy Bob against her]. In the opinion of the panel, she's the sexiest Bond girl in many years and she can beat me with that whip anytime as Catwoman.

2. Beyonce Knowles. The Booty-licious lead singer for the pop music group Destiny's Child. Seen alongside Mike Myers in Austin Powers: Goldmember in the role of Foxxy Cleopatra [don't worry Beyonce we won't hold the kiss you and Mike shared at the end of the movie against you, especially because you looked so uncomfortable when you did it!].

3. Jade Fulford. Miss Jamaica World 2003. What can we say about Jade? tall, attractive, smart, attractive, tall...

4. Janet Jackson. Music icon, movie star, exhibitionist, you name it! Made the term "wardrobe malfunction" universal after Justin Timberlake accidentally removed her armor the 2004 Superbowl half-time show [I still believe that P-Diddy and Kid Rock had something to do with the mishap...thank you guys!].

4. Diana Mizota. Most of you might not recognize her, but this stunning Asian beauty played the role of Fook Mi in Austin Powers: Gold Member.

5. Salma Hayek She's played every role from a drug-dealers girl (Traffic) to a cowgirl (Wild Wild West) to a Latina femme fatale (Once Upon a Time in Mexico) to a vampire (From Dusk Til Dawn) to a poor Latina chick knocked up by Chandler (Fools Rush In). She may be a little bit quirky, and definately unpredicatable, but she is still one hot mamacita!

6. Aishwaray Rai. We have to give our Desi girls credit! I mean, Aishwarya is beautiful, talented, and beautiful. From capturing the Miss World title in 1994 to her other media exploits, this blue-green eyed [hmmm] Indian beauty definately has what it takes!

7. Penelope Cruz. Now not because my girlfriend is Spanish do I feel compelled to add Penelope to my list of Hot Mamacitas. On the contrary, I've seen her in movies from Spain (trust me, she's a really good actress, it's just that American films haven't been too kind to her). Yes, we forgive her for her thing with Tom and hope she learns from the errors of her ways...but she is still undeniably a Hot Mamacita!

8. Tia and Tamera Mowry. Who doesn't love twins? Well, Tia and Tamera Mowry both qualify for our competition (be realistic, they look more or less the same anyway!). They're definately hot...still can't beleive they're already 26! They've come a long way since Sister, Sister!

9. Christine Renee Straw. Miss Jamaica Universe 2004. Smart, good-looking and talented. On top of that she's a scuba diver and a country girl! God bless Jamaica!

10. Anna Nicole Smith. Now, most of you are probably wondering what in the world AngryDog was smoking when Anna Nicole Smith gets mention on the Hot Mamacita list of 2004. Hell, most of you might even flat out say that I'm crazy...but, you know what, there is something about Anna (post-trimspa) that appeals to man's feral instinct. She's not the sharpest tool in the shed (in fact, she'd be a hammer) and by no means elegant, graceful or sophisticated, but there's just something about her that makes a dog, especially a Jamaican dog, howl!