Tuesday, May 18, 2004

The Law of X

In mathematics, X is generally used to represent the unknown variable. I believe that human life is anologus to finding the unknown variable in algebra. X represents the single, most important element in life that each person needs to find in order to understand their purpose for being here. Very few people are capable of finding X quickly, while others spend an entire lifetime looking for X and, when they do find it, they never realize it. No people ever have the same X, because all people are different and we know that even a slight change in an equation can lead to a completely different solution.

One of the most troublesome things about finding one's X is the fact that your journey can be interfered with by outside entities. These entities generally include people, time, cultural beliefs, and so on. In my journey, I've found that one of the biggest distractors for me is the fact that, for a time, I was surrounded by negative people. These people slandered me in the worst kind of ways, and made me feel like I was worth nothing.

Coupling feelings of doubt with low self-esteem leads to very dire consequences. After all these events occured, I found myself unable to function socially. I was afraid to go places for fear of seeing people that had no good intentions for me, afraid to talk to people for fear that they might find more things to talk about behind my back, and so on.

So, the solution for me was simple, I needed to keep my distance from people in general. Except for the few close friends that I have now, people do not need to know the intimate details of my life. Why bother to give them more things to talk about? Good or bad, they'll still find something bad to say anyway.

Another issue that I encountered in my search for X is the fact that my cultural background sometimes made me more pre-disposed to certain mannerisms, attitudes, and behaviors, as a result I was often distracted because I found it difficult at times to separate my culture from myself. Thus, I've had to learn to transcend cultural barriers that may restrict me from getting where I want to get.

In effect, the Law of X is just the ability to do what you need to do to get where you need to go. The primary focus of the philosophy is to learn to ignore whatever external influences affect you, regardless of what they are, for the single-minded goal of understanding yourself. In the Law of X, there is no race, social class, wealth, and so on...we simply stand alone in a void trying to put fragments of a large,complicated equation together in order to understand what life means to you.

Sorry if I sound philosophical and my journal has been reduced to incoherent babbling, but I've got a lot of things on my mind right now, and my mind is working at that level of abstraction where I can understand the things that I just wrote.

{arf,arf}

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