The Smurf Conspiracy

As a child of the 80's and 90's I grew up with the Smurfs. You know, those adorable little blue bipeds that lived in mushrooms, claimed to be "three apples high", and were always "smurfing" themselves, each other, and everything else around them. Well, I was shocked to recently learn that the Smurfs were actually Communist--I mean, I should've seen it before, but my fragile little 8-year old mind just wouldn't let me see it [maybe because I didn't even know what politricks...err politics was].

First of all, I did some research from a very "reliable" source and the first thing I discovered that Smurf is actually an acronym for "Socialist Men Under Red Father. Makes sense, because most of the Smurfs were men [Smurfette and the Smurflings came along waaaayyyy later] and Papa Smurf did indeed wear red, which is the offical color that we associate with Communism.

Next, I considered the fact that all Smurfs were more or less equal, they dressed the same, looked pretty much the same, and shared everything...which again is the main point of Communism, communal property and division of labor.

Hmmm, am I convincing you yet? Well, think about the two most despised Smurfs in the entire show "Greedy" and "Vanity"...you ever wonder why they were so hated? well, think about it...greed tends to be two major attributes of Capitalist societies according to Communism. Also, it is painfully obvious that Vanity was a smurfing homosexual and in Communist societies it was taught that homosexuality was not tolerable in society [or so my source claims].

Now let's think about Gargamel as the symbol of Capitalism. He always wanted to catch the Smurfs and boil them and turn them into gold...hmmmm, sorta symbolic isn't it? Evil bastard who wants to make money out of everything??? Azrael, Gargamel's trusty cat, may have been a representative for the greedy "fat cat" American politicians...sounds pretty convincing.

OK, I know I'm rambling again and I tend to talk a lot of crap in this blog, but hey, I gotta have fun too!!!

{arf, arf}

Comments

Anonymous said…
id like to be a smurt personally.